Sunday, February 3, 2008

A new year.

While this may serve to sound bizarre considering that it is now in February of 2008, I've been thinking a lot about resolutions and changes that I'd like to see made within myself. I'm not exactly why there is a delay in me getting around to it...but I did. Maybe it has to do with careening right smack-dab into January at the tail end of a Holiday Season. On a side note, maybe we here in the US should consider adopting the Chinese Zodiac's New Year...after all, it would allow us the chance to enjoy yet another holiday (and we ALL know how we like holiday$ here in the U$). Additionally, don't most US businesses run on fiscal calendars, instead? But maybe there's something risky by living life away from the actuary tables like Ned "Bing" Ryerson (if you don't know who that is, run out and rent "Groundhog Day." Now.). Anyway, I digress.

So. I must say that I don't really make resolutions. In my opinion, resolutions will be broken and quite often you'll end up feeling guilty for doing so (if you're hyper-analytical like me). I think I tried once or twice to quite smoking as a resolution and probably ended up lighting up in celebration of making that resolution. Yes, I live in a warm ball of hypocrisy. Truth be told, I'd like to see myself a lot thinner and a lot more healthy. The other truth is that I really don't want to put out the effort to do so. Gym memberships are ridiculously expensive...and when you're disabled you'll have an even rougher time of trying to find a gym that is accessible. I sit here firm, proud, confident, and without flinching that I sincerely believe that the Gold's Gym here in High Point, NC (and from discussions with other folks, across the COUNTRY for that matter) was built in complete violation of the ADA. So there's a newsflash for you lawyer-types...wanna make some money, look into what I'm saying here. Anyway, back to what I'm saying. Basically I'm not at a point now where I can make myself motivated to do something with my health. And, as I learned from several meek attempts at quitting smoking in the past, I got want it to make it happen. "You gotta want it, Rita!!" Again, see Groundhog Day...especially since it was 'Hog Day yesterday.

One thing that I really am trying to work is this year in better interaction with the people around me and the people that matter to me. I'm not really sure why this is ever-present in mind these days but I speculate that a full life of people being nasty, mean, rude, or disappointing to me has throttled my mindset right on through the "bitter, bitter, DAMN, I'm bitter" way that I had been festering in my mind most of 2007. It's sort of funny that the older that I get, the less angry that I become but the more let down I become with people. Maybe I'm becoming schmaltzy or maybe I've been broken spiritually. Maybe it's just God's next plan for my life. Either way, I can't help but think it's a good thing.

This is sort of funny to post this because I wonder if I'm setting myself up for failure. Probably. But what the heck....if I can inspire a few folks to help a person or two out in the small way, maybe we can do something to right the wrongs of this world's mentality. If I can inspire myself to see the world as a better place in MY view by helping others, I figure I win as much as those whom I am helping.