Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Is loneliness an affliction or a constant companion... one who will never leave your side even when the going gets good. How often does it seem that an individual can pull themselves into the heart of a pulsating throb of people and feel like the they are all alone on the world? I know that I have felt like that; I've felt like that often. As a child I hated feeling that way... feeling that my disability gave me no other choice but to scramble over the dirt and rocks of the morbidly dividing trench that my differences created for me just so I could partially wedge myself into the social stratosphere (and how ironic, a social circle that I now care less for?). How strange that I'd take loneliness by the hand like a fretful lover... one I needed near me but was ashamed to become passionate with. How ironic that in a time that I should have felt that four years of my life had become nothing but a split second of divinity, I carried the hallelujahs of an emotional scar that ran deeper and wider than any that I had experienced in an anesthetized stupor of hope for a better "tomorrow."

But perhaps that's our greatest fear and most humbling element. A smart man once said "when this fleeting limelight fades and we're alone again, who's Name will your heart speak?" My question is how will He respond... and who will be there to muffle the sound?