Tuesday, September 2, 2008

"Now that I've totally enraged you, can I sell you some religion?"

I just don't get it.

You ring the doorbell once and I don't get it... you should be able to hear my two hysterical dogs going crazy at the door. AFTER you hear me scream from the back of the house "NOT INTERESTED!!!" (mainly because I'm in the middle of changing out of my work clothes and just don't feel like answering the door), you have the audacity to ring my bell a SECOND TIME. (Insert dogs going even more hysterical here)

Then, to blow my mind, you ring it a THIRD time. By now, I'm practically foaming at the mouth... begging for your sake that you're a long-lost northernly friend who's popped south of the Mason-Dixie for a visit or a Federal Agent from the FCC about the flurry of telemarketing calls that I can NOT STOP NO MATTER WHAT I DO!!! But you're not.

SO, to completely blow me out of the water as I try to manage two rabidly barking and curious dogs while opening a heavy front door AND doing all this in a wheelchair (not usually one to throw the gimp factor into anything, but I think this one actually applies) you have the audacity to greet me with a condescending smirk and valueless "HELLO!!!!" (think Jerry Seinfeld) and DARE to try to sell me some crackpot religious gimmick? (Sorry man, your manner of dress and that bright and cheery pamphlet gave it away by a mile and I am most definitely resolute in my Faith enough... if not in my church attendance... to go toe to toe with you in a debate of all things spiritual; trust me, my Dad's a minister).

Yeah. I'm a jerk. I know. Been told that my whole life. But yes... I still will dramatically bellow "WE'RE NOT IN-TER-ESTED" if you come back tomorrow.


Cathy said...

I agree...if I were interested I'd go to church! LOL

betsy clark said...

That's hilarious! I think so many people can SO relate. I know I can!